愿得一心人，白头不相离
Yuàn dé yī xīn rén, bái tóu bù xiāng lí
"I wish to find someone of one heart, so we may grow old with white hair and never part"
Character Analysis
Wish (愿) obtain (得) one (一) heart (心) person (人), white (白) head (头) not (不) mutually (相) separate (离). The phrase paints a portrait of two people whose hair turns white together, bound by a single shared heart.
Meaning & Significance
This is perhaps the most romantic line in classical Chinese poetry. It speaks to the ancient dream of finding a partner whose devotion is absolute—a love that persists through decades, weathering all of life's seasons until hair turns white with age.
Chinese love poetry often skips the passionate declarations and goes straight to: will you still be here when we are eighty? This line, from the White-Headed Song written around 140 BCE, asks for exactly that. A partner. A witness. Someone whose hair turns white alongside yours.
Character Breakdown
愿 (yuàn) — to wish, to desire, to hope 得 (dé) — to obtain, to get, to receive 一 (yī) — one, single, whole 心 (xīn) — heart, mind, spirit 人 (rén) — person 白 (bái) — white 头 (tóu) — head 不 (bù) — not 相 (xiāng) — mutually, each other 离 (lí) — to leave, to separate, to depart
The phrase yī xīn rén (一心人) is particularly beautiful—a person of “one heart,” meaning someone whose devotion is single, unwavering, undivided.
Historical Context
This line comes from the Baitou Yin (白头吟), a poem traditionally attributed to Zhuo Wenjun, one of China’s most famous women poets. She lived during the Han Dynasty (2nd century BCE) and her story is itself a tale of love against all odds.
Zhuo Wenjun was a young widow from a wealthy family who fell in love with the poor poet Sima Xiangru. They eloped—a scandalous act in her time—and opened a wine shop together, she serving customers while he washed dishes. When Sima Xiangru later achieved fame and considered taking a concubine, Zhuo Wenjun reportedly sent him this poem as a reminder of their original vows.
Philosophy
This proverb resonates with the Western ideal of companionate love—the kind that philosophers from Aristotle to modern psychologists have described as the highest form of human connection. It echoes the biblical ideal of two becoming “one flesh,” but frames it through the Chinese emphasis on xin (心), the heart-mind that thinks and feels as one.
The image of bái tóu (white head) also carries philosophical weight. In a culture that reveres the elderly, white hair symbolizes not decline but completion—a life fully lived, together. The wish is not merely for passion’s first bloom but for love’s harvest season.
Usage Examples
Wedding vows and toasts:
“愿你们愿得一心人，白头不相离。” “May you each find your one-hearted person and grow old together without parting.”
Romantic letters:
“这么多年了，我们终于做到了——白头不相离。” “After all these years, we’ve finally done it—grown old with white hair, never parted.”
Solitary reflection:
“年轻时不懂什么是愿得一心人，现在懂了。” “When young, I didn’t understand what ‘wishing for one of one heart’ meant. Now I do.”
Tattoo Recommendation
This proverb makes a meaningful tattoo for those celebrating enduring love. Consider these options:
Full phrase (10 characters): 愿得一心人，白头不相离 Condensed (4 characters): 白头不离 (bái tóu bù lí) — “White head, not parting” Most evocative (4 characters): 一心人 (yī xīn rén) — “Person of one heart”
The characters flow beautifully in vertical arrangement, making this suitable for placement along the inner arm, spine, or ribcage.